“Above all, be the heroine of your life, not the victim.” ―Nora Ephron
I saw this quote on a friends Face Book page and it made me think. I believe everyone wants to be the heroes or heroines of their life. Earlier this week I had the opportunity to talk with a coworker, who was a victim in her marriage for many years. Now, with the support of some good people she appears to be becoming the heroine in her life story. All of us are watching her grow, and learn to not fall back into old habits, and we encourage her, as much as we can. I can’t say I’ve always liked this woman, but I do like who she is now. She is a happy lady, one who is growing stronger daily, hopefully she will continue to grow and be the strong heroine that lives within.
Life is hard for women on this side of the world. Abuse isn’t ok, but it happens, like it does in all parts of the world. Yes, there are laws, but I was told if a woman nags she has to be stopped. I looked at the person enlightening me and asked ‘what is considering, nagging? That is a very vague term’.
Women who are victims don’t have shelters to turn to for help. If family doesn’t step in, then they are in a very dangerous and terrible situation. I’m grateful I’ve never been in an abusive relationship, people close to me have and its heart wrenching to watch and know that no matter what you do, they have to make the decision to leave and create a safer life for themselves and sometimes their children.
I can understand how hard it is for these ladies, some feel they did something to deserve it. As I told my coworker when she came in with her fat bruised lip, ‘that is not ok, ever!’ She told me it was nothing, and tried to laugh it away, I said, ‘no it’s not nothing, and it isn’t OK, BE SAFE, GET HELP’. And she did, not from me, but from others.
I’m grateful my coworker is safe. She is breaking a cycle of abuse and that is very brave, making her a heroine. I hope she raises her children to be the heroes and heroines of their life story too.