Sometimes Being Content is Hard

ImageSometimes life throws you a curve ball and when that happens it’s usually a surprise. You can’t prepare for something you didn’t expect, or if you can, please share your secret, I need to know.

My life was moving along at an even pace, working, sleeping, working, grocery shopping, and repeat. I Skype with my family on the weekends, and was making plans for a short vacation. I would say I was content with my life, not overly thrilled, but content. I felt I was in this phase of my life for a reason and I was just waiting to find out what that reason was so I could move on. The Apostle Paul talks a great deal about being content. I try to live by his words. Image

One Saturday morning, while at work I got a FaceTime call from my husband. This is highly unusual since I’m 13 hours ahead of my family’s time zone. I answered to see my husband in a hospital bed. I’ve been married for over 26 years and he has been in the ER once in all that time. He proceeded to tell me he was fine, just a little attack which he felt should be checked out. My first instinct was to hop a plane home, I coImageuld be there in 48 hours (yes, living on the other side of world is a problem in an emergency). He told me no, stay put, he was going to be released shortly.

This one incident left me questioning my whole life priority. My sister had no idea what was going on and she sent me a note about doing what I was called to do, and blessing others. I cried like a baby. I wasn’t feeling like a blessing to anyone 10 million miles from home. Fast forward a few days and my husband is now home and I’m still in Malaysia. He’s fine, but I want to be there. I work, once again, on being content.

It seemed like I just settled back into a routine when I was hit with another curve ball. Someone very dear to me decided to distance themselves from me and my family. I don’t know what caused this rift, there has been no communication. This person is part of my heart. They are someone who will be loved no matter what, and the distance they have chosen to put between us is painful. I will miss this person dearly. I hope someday they chose to reach out to one of us, I hope they will reunite with us, but the choice has to be theirs.

I have learned a valuable lesson about taking others for granted during this short period of time. I have a whole new appreciation for my family and friends. I thought I had them high on my priority list, but I feel that they are now even higher. The fear of loss is scary, and frightening, you feel helpless. But the real loss is unbearable. I know Paul would tell me to be content in all circumstances, but with loss it’s difficult. I don’t know how to do it. I try looking at facts only, but it doesn’t help the heart.

So as I continue on with my life on the far side of the world,  I will stay in closer contact with my family and friends, and I plan on making a trip home to see them, and touch each of them, I will love and cherish them more (if that’s possible) and know that my time in Mountasia will end someday. Then, I’ll be home to bug the crude out of them daily.

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One response to “Sometimes Being Content is Hard

  1. I think God’s plans are not often our own and we Just need to ride the rollar coaster out. In the end I want to know I lived with no regrets and to my greatest potential. I feel like we get pushed by God sometimes out of the contentment phase into a scary place but we need to maintain our faith even in the dark. Good post Mom.

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